The Everything Dental Rep

Most human beings have an almost infinite capacity fortaking things for granted.”
-Aldous Huxley

 

 

At some point of your life, did you start to have expectations of other people because of the way you believe you treated them? Because of what you paid them? Because of the favors you did? Do you ever feel like you have some sense of entitlement to being treated a certain way?

 

Do you think the other person in that relationship with you feels the same way? Have you asked them lately?

 

We are all the same.  Taking relationships for granted seems to be a sure way for a relationship to fall apart.  So often during my career, I was stubborn and ultimately learned some hard lessons.  My ego often gets in the way of realizing that what I THINK is so valuable to  certain people may ultimately mean very little to them.  I have learned that it is truly more important to LISTEN and UNDERSTAND what my relationships want out of me…and when I do, it seems the relationships are fruitful.

 

One mistake I make is asking for strong commitments from those I am involved with – when really it may not be the best way to go about this!!  Perhaps the best way to have someone ‘fall in love’ with you is to provide an outstanding experience in the relationship….and continue to do so.  Why would ‘they’ want to have relations with others if the experience with me is so much better?  What if the experience I provide is always changing, always interesting, always engaging? What if I NEVER take that relationship for granted?? What if I always show my interest – just like I did in the beginning? What if I ALWAYS treated my relationships like it’s the first day and I really want them to like me? Always??

 

Me and my big ego, ugh.

 

So many people bask in their success.  You often see this ‘rock star’ attitude among high performing athletes, celebrities, people with wealth.  At some point, perhaps, do they lose sight of the important things in life?  That modesty is a virtue, and realizing that they usually have become what they are because of the support of the people that they may now take for granted?  Do they get that way from so many people kissing their ass? And how shallow are those relationships?

 

And how many times has a very successful business started to take their success for granted…and they no longer provide the high level of service, or product that brought them their success to begin with?  We see it so often!! I GUARANTEE every one of us knows a business, a restaurant…a person that we USED to like – and they changed!!

 

And that is when opportunity is right for ‘competitors’ to take advantage and offer that high level of service that this potential ‘relationship seeker’ is looking for.  It could be the spouse at home that just wants to feel appreciated and finds someone in their life to make them feel wanted again…it could be an employee that really was hoping for a raise, a bonus, even a simple thank you – and they decide to start a new ‘relationship’ elsewhere.  It could even be  a customer, a patient….and they no longer see you providing that service that you used to be so good at providing.

I am guilty.

 

But when failure hits – I cry a bit, get down a bit, then pick myself up and try to look at positive lessons to learn.  And part of this writing is therapy for myself.  Understanding the problem is only part of the solution.  Going a step back and two steps forward is the goal.

 

My Mom taught me something and I heard crowded rooms chant before she would speak “When you fall down, get up. When you fall down again, get up again, and when you fall down again, get up again.”  It’s possible in any relationship to be better.  And the lesson learned is usually “Don’t take your relationships for granted’.  It SO OFTEN boils down to just that. Just that!

 

The lesson learned.

 

In our successful careers – in those of successful people – how often do you see a plateau, a fall – and then a rise again?  It happens often for celebrities.  We all keep our eyes on the Tiger Woods, the recovering from addiction Rock Stars and Movie Stars.  The people who become ever so humble when they realize that they were only human after all…..but they have that key…that drive…that ability to learn from miserable failures.  It’s what brought them to success to begin with.  It’s what brought you to success to begin with! It’s what makes you ultimately happy every day.

 

It’s that purpose.  A reason to get up and face each day.  It’s the small successes that matter so much and drive us all.

 

At the end of the day…the lesson learned is to not take any of these gifts for granted.  And especially when others are involved.  Feel blessed for the gifts you are given, and make the most of them every day – it’s your gift back.  Recognizing the talent in others and not only that but listening to, understanding and appreciating what others look for to you in your relationship is what makes for success and happiness!!

 

At least that’s my thought today.