If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn’t follow. I’d be at the bottom to catch them when they fall.”

I believe our lives are empty without meaningful relationships.

For me, all relationships are the same no matter the type.

The beginning – discovering new relationships.

I look for opportunity to connect and develop relationships.  It’s a very fulfilling way to live and approach life!  The beginning of any relationship is scary – it’s a time of discovery.  You often have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations to develop new relationships.  Why would you do that when you are already comfortable?  Why leave home? Why take another chance on being rejected? Why fall in love again?  What if the other doesn’t like me?

It’s a great human need to feel wanted and important.

When your heart is beating fast, and you are unsure of where you may end up – you are living! It can be hard to put yourself in those awkward situations of developing new relationships.  It’s easier to just be content…but not necessarily fulfilled, wanted or feeling important.  We compromise our happiness instead of believing that we DO have something important to share and we
DESERVE happiness.

You meet that exciting new prospect, potential business partner, love interest….

Do you try too hard to be something you are not when you start out?

Can a person can try so hard they may even compromise their own values to make a relationship work?

It is the beginning of an end.

These are the business relationships based on price.

These are the personal relationships (lovers AND friends) based on money, or physical beauty.

In some cases it’s desperation coupled with guilt.  Neither party is really getting what they want….at least not long term.

Relationships do, however, need a place to start, an attraction.  And in the beginning – you may need price, money, beauty.  It’s that initial attraction most of us may need.
I DO NOT believe it’s shallow.
Shallow happens when initial attraction is all the relationship is built upon.  Shallow people find that only money, price, beauty work for them!  It’s kind of the easy way out, and you rarely have to actually be any more than just a pretty face offering a discount or shelling out the money.  But the pretty face, discount or money usually run out.  And  eventually the relationship ends.  Some people are actually happy that way.

Good for them.

Not for me.  And likely not for you if you are reading this.

Do you believe that these people will be constantly chase new relationships and will rarely find true happiness?  In my life I try to identify these relationships and cut them out of my life.  It does not make me happy.  I need more….

Relationships are work

Discovering what works is not always easy.  And I do believe there are compromises.  What are we willing to sacrifice to make this work for the other?  Can we both compromise in order to build this relationship and still be satisfied? Does it actually make us feel good to be in this relationship? As long as both parties are feeling important and wanted….or maybe even respected and heard.

That’s why my business relationships are not based on price.  I offer price as a part of a package since it is a part of business.  I FEEL GOOD making sure my friends are given a fair price, and would never compromise on that  value.  It’s possible I would have made alot more money if I approached my business relationships cold hearted and business shrewd– but I believe it’s shallow
and would not last.

There are times when I have taken my business relationships for granted and I try hard tomake sure to NOT do this.  But there are times when you are not able to commit your full resources. That’s when you can count on the commitment from the other person to talk to you.  If you are in a mutually beneficial relationship and they know your true desire is to have a lasting relationship – they know they can come and talk to you anytime to fix anything they are not happy with.

I  make regular investments in my relationships.
I educate myself to help my relationships flourish.

Keep it exciting. Offer new benefits.

When it’s not working – end it. Fire it. Re-tool. Quit.

I find most relationships are fully developed within 2 – 3 years.  More experienced relationship builders may discover this much sooner.  Without that experience, it may just take time to learn exactly what you need.  Time is the answer.  Risk is the answer.

Be confident in your approach.  Ask the questions that matter, then listen.  Understand whether this could be right, or if it would be too much work, compromise, or time to develop. You have to be considerate that the other party may have different aspirations than you and be ready to move on if it happens that way. There are billions of relationships in the world – move to the next one with confidence. The right relationship is there for you just waiting…

Some relationships start off on false pre tense.  One person or the other really wants to be the person the other one wants them to be.  It may be the salesman offering things they can’t deliver.  They become ‘fake’.  Like that cheesy salesman with the big smile and over the top compliments….yuck.

It takes genuine interest and care to make sure relationships work.  It takes a deeper understanding of what makes you, yourself happy to be able to share that with potential partners.

 The hard part may be letting go. 

Sometimes we grow and discover we want different things than our friends.  One friend discovers they want to go hang out more often. The other wants to stay home. One is more ambitious and the other one doesn’t want change. One wants to be a rock star, the other wants to be a doctor.  Many business owners don’t have a sense of relationship – or only know the ‘shallow’ part.  “Just give me a better price, that’s all I want from you”.  It’s up to you if you want to accept a relationship on these terms.  Sometimes it can work for a short while and give both parties what they want – right?

It’s nobody’s fault – but as respectful friends/partners/fanily there are considerate and respectful ways to handle the relations.  No need for blame, for bitterness.  Business partners split up and each move on to new opportunities.  It happens every day, and tends to work out. We are back at the beginning again.

Life is about being happy….for everyone.

Find true happiness in ALL your relationships.  If you read this blog and were thinking of your business relationships but are having difficulty with a loved one, a friend, a child, a spouse, at work,….read it again.

Life is about being happy.  We are the only ones that can bring ourselves to that place.  It is not the burden of other people.

Smile!

Warren Bobinski

Success in Dentistry and Life.

I LOVE what I do, and it’s because of you.

I am so thankful to be involved in such a great industry! It’s a privilege to be able to work with the most genuine, generous, compassionate people.

Several years ago, there were days when I wasn’t sure about my choices in life.  I felt like making myself happy took more money, better toys, and I was afraid to make changes in my life for fear of ‘losing’ what I worked so hard for.

And I couldn’t sleep.  Sunday nights were a terrible mess of stress about the people I had to work with on Monday. I lie awake many nights wondering how I could make a difference, change their mind about what I am willing to do to get that job.  Trying to figure out new ways to show how much I cared.  How hard I would work. I wanted to be the person they pick to be on their team.  It became a seven nights a week issue.  It really does matter that much to me.

There is a point in life where you decide that there are things that are more important than money. Family. Friendship. Loyalty. Trust. Integrity. Character. Relationships….

Money is important. Many of you have known me for years. Know how Carman Adair from Arcona personally bailed me out of close bankruptcy.  How I had to cash in pop bottles to buy milk for Sarah as a baby.  Many of you have been there yourselves! It’s scary!  For sure money is a part of happiness…but I realize that money is a tool that allows us to make choices, and it takes many years of hard work and ‘sucking it up’ to get to that point.

However,  being driven by money is not an answer to true happiness….is it?  You will never have enough, never find real happiness in the things you buy.  I realized more and more, the things that truly made me happy; it’s mostly the sense of accomplishment and a feeling that I am making a difference.  That I am giving my best effort.  That I care, and I show it.  Real happiness for me is about making my family proud, about helping my friends….about trying to make a lasting difference in what I do in this life.

So a couple of years ago, I made changes so that my days are filled working with people I truly enjoy working with.  It wasn’t always about the person themselves, it could simply be a way some people prefer to do business…and if they are happy doing business that way, then I am happy for them.  I just prefer to have a tight relationship built on trust and care.  Those are the people I am proud to work with, they think like I do – and I can wake up every day with that sense of accomplishment and wanting to try even harder. It really made a difference!

The challenge for many of my friends is to get out of that trap of working to make others happy.  If you can find a way to make  these ‘adjustments’ you may find yourself much happier, and still find ways to challenge myself with new opportunities that make life even more interesting (ie: a bakery!).  Because once you find a way out of the trap – you will find that those people you have genuine, trusting, loyal relationships can really make you happy.  And it just builds from there.  It is mutual.  It is shared, and like minded people tend to gravitate towards you and your friends….

And it only gets better. The happier you get…..the happier you get. It works.

I hope you get a chance to enjoy your hard earned holidays, the family and everything that matters to you in life.

Thankyou so much!!

Smile!

Warren